Congruence, Influence & Negotiation: The Negotiation Ninja Basic Training Workbook!

Second Edition available September 1, 2010 – new information, better tactics, and more!

Congruence, Influence & Negotiation: The Negotiation Ninja Basic Training Workbook

This is not a glitzy or fancy book, it’s a workbook full of the best information I have about the most important part of communication and negotiation – congruence with your goal.   When you are congruent, you can negotiate pretty well for whatever you want – and adding negotiation preparation and tactics is like icing on the cake.

This workbook is 77 pages of intense behavioral change action with a heaping helping of focus. It will help you build congruence as quickly and thoroughly as possible so that you can get on with your negotiation preparation and tactical planning.  The methods and setups are streamlined, distilled, and meant for use on a project-by-project basis.  Also, they are well suited to any side projects you might want to work on – such as sports performance, public speaking, poker, academics or relationships.

Congruence is the Holy Grail of communication.

Congruence is when your beliefs about what you can have, deserve, and believe is possible matches up with your desired outcome.  It happens when you have no mental resistance to your goal – you are 100% aligned with it.

Congruence is rapport with yourself and with your desired outcome.  When someone is congruent it means that they believe in what they are saying/doing and they have “sold themselves” on their ideas or actions.  They believe in their purpose, they feel that they deserve what they are asking for and everything about their verbal and nonverbal language matches. This is the most powerful state to be in.  The most congruent person will likely prevail in a negotiation because it shows belief in the goal.  Conversely, incongruence sends signals of doubt.

I know people who negotiate for a living…

They are in sales, law, and management.  Many are very successful and yet do not apply their negotiation skills at home or on their own behalf.  They leave those skills at the office.  They use those skills for other people.  These transferable skills are useful in everyday life and the more you use them, no matter how, the better you get (and you’ll better deals, too!).

Somebody in that mindset might even have all sorts of rapport skills and negotiation techniques but the underlying fears may still undermine their ability to negotiate for themselves.  Are other people more important?  No.

This book is less about tactics and more about building a foundation for all negotiations by eliminating any underlying mental saboteurs, activating transferable skills, and building a set of resource states that will enable you to prepare for any negotiation swiftly and completely.

The idea is to equip you with the tools to:

Create a well-formed outcome, a doable goal that excites you and beacons you forward.

Eliminate all blocks to asking, wanting, deserving, and the idea of negotiation in general so that you can ask for what you want AND believe you can have (or expect to get) it – that’s congruence.   Low self-worth, feeling undeserving, worry about sharing spoils of victory (with partner or ex), what others will think of you (for wanting, asking, and negotiating for it) are all examples of the saboteurs of getting what you want.  Their presence may cause you to overestimate the other party’s position and underestimate your own leverage and guidance/potential/abilities.

Activate existing strategies and transferable skills – like patience, balance, faith, humor, alertness, perception, gut feelings – and add them to your negotiation toolbox.  Build powerful resource states for negotiation and learn how to mentally clear and prepare for every important interaction.

The saboteurs of negotiation can surface in anyone at any level of expertise.  It manifests in a host of ways, including timidity, lowering of goals (pre-settling), low self-esteem, nervousness, sweating, stuttering, and even bullying and aggressiveness.  They can undermine even the most practiced tactics used by the most experienced negotiator because it creates incongruence.

This book will put you LIGHT YEARS ahead in your negotiation game – buy it now and thank me later!!

Unleash your congruence on the world!  Buy it now!

P.S. This book is NOT for wussies!!!

The exercises call for some adventurous exploring in your mind and lots of subsequent changes!!!  Make sure you are ready to change and bold enough to let go of excuses and blame.  Make sure you are ready to take your power back because it will change your life and the dynamics of your relationships!