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Everybody Loves a Winner

Everybody loves a winner.

Funny, it seems like a really arrogant or elitist thing to say but, as my friend just pointed out, it is natural selection.

We are so sophisticated in the way we interpret and act out the most basic of involuntary, evolutionary behaviors that we are almost able to fool ourselves into thinking that we, as thinking humans, are immune to the laws of nature.

And for the most part we are.  Even under great stress some people are able to hold it together and “act like humans”, like when the Titanic went down.  While there are probably better examples out there, quite a few on the Titanic sacrificed their lives to save others.

But let it slip, just a little, and we are back there in the Stone Age – surviving.  Just a little bit of stress or distraction causes normal, relaxed (in this study, probably students) people to begin unconsciously sorting for the winners.

“Psychologists Jane Raymond and Jennifer L. O’Brien of Bangor University in the United Kingdom wanted to investigate how cognitive stress affects rational decision-making. In this study, participants played a simple gambling game in which they earned money by deciding between stimuli — in this case, two pictures of different faces. Once their selection was made, it was immediately clear if they had won, lost, or broken even. Each face was always associated with the same outcome throughout this task. In the next stage of the experiment, the volunteers were shown each face individually and had to indicate whether they had seen those faces before. Sometimes volunteers were distracted during this task while other times they were not.

The results, reported in the current issue of Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science, reveal that distractions significantly impact decision-making. When volunteers were not distracted, they tended to excel at recognizing faces that had been highly predictive of either winning or losing outcomes. However, when they were distracted, they only recognized faces that had been associated with winning.”[1]

How else would/could this manifest in everyday life?  How are winners treated differently?  Do they get better service?  Do they get better health care?  Actually, people who are perceived as being powerful and “winners” get better service and health care.  Still, how do you even pin down the attributes?

In my experience, a “winner” has confidence and exudes a sense of peace.  They are generally satisfied with life and congenial in nature.  It takes a lot to make them lose their T.A.T.E.R. (Think About The End Result), because they have unwavering faith in a future beneficial outcome.  It seems to be less about trappings and more about inner strength and calm.  That being the case, someone could be a “winner” in some circumstances and maybe not so much in other circumstances.

Do you feel like a winner? You probably are most of the time!  If you feel like you have some work to do, it’s probably time to adjust your beliefs and mindset.

Look around.  Like attracts like and you probably know quite a few people to whom you confide or ask for advice.  They are calm and stable no matter what is going on.  Start spending some time with them and you might notice that they don’t worry too much about things they can’t control.  They take life in stride and focus on the ultimate goal.  They are honest with themselves and others.

Spend some time with them and take notes.  What can you learn about their behavior or mind-set?  Would you like act/react to things in the way that they do?  Like being calm in the midst of chaos?  Notes are valuable tools for future change work.

You will likely begin to change just from being around winners.  If there are some aspects that you see in them that you would like to add to your own repertoire, write them down as EFT set-ups and tap them in! Click here for the tapping tutorial

Here are some sample set-ups:

Even though I always lose my TATER when things get chaotic, I want to find ways to maintain calm (like Anne does) – no matter what is going on

Even though I’m worried about ________, I want to relax and trust that everything is going to be OK

Even though I’m worried about ________, I want to shift my focus to my best-case scenario and lock on to it

Note: Tater is a word I have been using for years.  It started because of an old friend who always uses the term “lose your tater”.  The funny thing is that even people who have never heard the term know what I am talking about when I say it.  I Googled it and discovered that the basis of the term comes from a country saying, “Root hog or lose your tater” or, rather, “better keep moving, keep seeking, keep digging or you’ll lose your potato to someone else”.

I’ve altered it slightly to Think About The End Result (T.A.T.E.R.).  It’s basically the same message – keep going, keep digging, keep working, keep living – and keep your focus on the goal, your best-case scenario, the end result that you want.

Stay on your TATER and enjoy!

Nancy T. Hand

[1] Association for Psychological Science (2009, September 16). Under Pressure: The Impact Of Stress On Decision Making. ScienceDaily. Retrieved September 16, 2009, from http://www.sciencedaily.com­ /releases/2009/09/090915174459.htm

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