3.22.10
This month I saw the perfect mediation
Two parties came to the table with their lawyers. They were conscientious, flexible, very well prepared, and ready to make a deal. Both parties were clearly committed to a win-win outcome.
Their thorough preparation paid off. They reached agreement on an extremely sensitive custody matter and resolved equally sensitive – potentially volatile – peripheral matters in only 75 minutes! It was very impressive work on both sides of the table.
It was, however, a Regional Competition of the American Bar Association Representation in Mediation Competition that I judged on March 5th …
The competitors were cast in mediation role-play. They were very good and stayed in character like champs.
I’m not sure how long they prepared (and would be interested to know) but they came to the table over-prepared and ready to slice and dice concessions cleverly and nimbly to create mutually beneficial solutions.
It wasn’t the normal concession give and take – it was more like they worked together to mold the clay into a mutually agreeable shape. Neither party left feeling unsatisfied. In fact, during the post-mediation interviews, both sides felt like they “won”!
These competitors were prepared and it paid off. Preparation has the highest return on investment of any business practice and also works in other aspects of life to help you creatively control your outcome.
Why doesn’t this happen in “real life”? Because most people never take the time to prepare and end up “winging it”.
What if…
- You could mentally and emotionally prepare in a way that allowed maximum benefit and flexibility?
- You could be so calm and centered that you could lead the other party into a better mindset and dispel negativity on the other side of the table?
- You could use information about the situation fluidly and ethically to build a better deal for everyone – after all, a win-win deal will last and is less likely to be contested.
Attorneys, what if…
- You knew how to coach your client into a peak performance state (like the ones elite athletes use all the time) so that they stay calm and resourceful throughout the mediation or negotiation?
- You could do it well before the negotiation – so that you and your client or team could enjoy the days leading up to the negotiation without worry?
- You could do this coaching over the phone?
- You knew how to build peak performance states so well that you could do it easily and quickly?
It’s possible!
The mediation competition teams had coaches and so can you. A mediation or negotiation coach can train your attorney or management team to build technical strategies and emotional peak performance states that will help get the negotiation outcomes you want.
All interaction is a system – in a negotiation, the parties are a system.
W. Ross Ashby’s Law Of Requisite Variety states, “If a system is to be stable the number of states of its control mechanism must be greater than or equal to the number of states in the system being controlled.”
In other words, the party with the most behavioral options and flexibility of mindset will control the system – in this case a negotiation or mediation. The party with more possible outcomes and more possible solutions to predictable objections or demands, will be more likely to keep a negotiation from impasse and to see it through to a successful resolution.
If two parties came to the table with the level of preparation seen in these competitions, the results would likely be similar.
If only one party came to the table that prepared (rehearsed in all possible ways to slice and dice, mentally nimble, emotionally calm), they would control the communication “system”. They would probably not just control the system, but do so virtually undetected.
In a negotiation, they would have an obvious, distinct advantage. In some mediation situations, that prepared party might even end up better off than they would if they went to court.
Train the lawyers/managers
Teach them how to coach mediation and negotiation participants to the best deals possible and beyond. Train your lawyers or managers in the methods used by coaches who train elite athletes. Teach them how to use peak performance states, non-verbal cues, whole mind thinking – on themselves, with clients, and with your negotiation teams.
Turn your team into a ninja team!
Cheers!
Nancy